How to Live United
by Uncertain Anonymous
Summary: Maka and Soul take a poster a bit too seriously. Rated T for the ONE word of not-one-bit-serious profanity you likely hear at least once a day.


**WARNING: if you went here looking for major SoMa, this isn't the story. They don't kiss. They don't blush at each other. They're _friends_.**

**INSPIRATION: I was looking around the room I'm in now while daydreaming about Soul Eater when a sudden funny thought came up. This is a real poster up at one of my volunteer workplaces. I don't own the poster and I definitely don't own Soul Eater. If I did, well… Well, it'd be… I don't know, just probably less "Soul Eater"… if that makes sense. But anyway, the poster is from "United Way of [I'm not telling you where I live, stalkers…]".**

**WORD COUNT: 1492**

"Having to wait isn't cool!" Soul finally exclaimed simply to erupt the annoying silence that had filled the room. He needed a way to stop his boredom from taking over; he needed to get a reaction from this. And he got one hell of a reaction.

"MAKA CHOP!"

Soul was now slammed into the floor with a dent in his head where the magazine Maka had now returned to reading had hit him.

You may think that a magazine wouldn't hurt him guite as much as an encyclopedia, but in this instance Maka had made up for the lack of thickness with the sheer force of the hit. In fact, Soul was sure that it hurt more _because_of the focused energy. Ducks swam around his half-conscious head.

"Be quiet," his meister scolded calmly. "We're in a waiting room. Waiting is the _point_of us being here. Be patient until Dr. Stein comes back."

Yesterday, Maka and Soul had been told by the man that they needed to talk about strengthening their soul resonance after class. Somehow "after class" had turned to "after dinner" and then that had turned into "tomorrow," which soon became "after my appointment with blah blah blah."

That was the point when the two of them had both tuned out do to their growing annoyance with the man. Being themselves, neither would admit that they had no idea just what they were waiting for to finish.

Maka gave Soul a taunting, you're-so-stupid look, complete with scowl and raised eyebrow. "Besides," she started, "I thought complaining wasn't '_cool'_."

Soul gave Maka a glare before he sat back down in the chair he had been sitting in before. Maka eyed him, then rolled her eyes before returning to the magazine in her hands.

Soul slowly moved in to take a peek at what it was she was so interested in.

Maka felt his breath on her neck and looked up over the edge of magazine to give the wall across the room a blank stare. There was an obvious look of annoyance on her face, but Soul didn't seem to notice it.

Maka tried to ignore the disgusting wafts of raw fish that found their way to her lungs and returned to the article she was reading. "_Ten Ways to Keep Yourself From Committing Murder."_ How appropriate.

"'Goat Intestine Soup recipe'?" Soul asked, spotting the article on the page closest to him. "Uck! I'm never eating your soups again! Torture!"

A vein popped on Maka's forehead, but she calmed herself enough to straighten her back. "Makaaaaa~" Since this had happened so many times before, Soul should have seen it coming. He would have dodged it and saved himself the pain. But alas, he was too busy ranting on about how short-stacks don't even compare to the thought of being made to eat-"CHOP!"

Soul was slammed into the floor once again. Maka returned to the magazine muttering something about morons and their idiocy.

Soul recovered quickly this time and sat down a seat away from Maka, rubbing his head. He began to occupy himself with looking about the walls of the room. Maka took this opportunity to cool off and read the third way not to kill her weapon. _'Keep daggers and guns_out _of the argument.'_ No duh.

"'How to live untied'?" she head Soul's voice ask, confused.

"_What_?" she asked as she spun around to look at Soul with a dumbfounded expression, just as confused as him if not more. She turned to what he was looking at. A poster.

"It says 'How to live _united_!'" Maka emphasized each syllable in that last word. She gave him a _duh_ look before her face froze at what she had just read.

_United_? As in, _united souls_? As in, _Soul Resonance_?

Maka quickly spun back to the poster and read the next line.

"'_Join hands_.'"

Maka and Soul looked at each other, their minds with the same thoughts, and quickly held hands with as little hesitance as they did in fights.

"_Open your heart_" read the next line.

Finding no other possible explanation-make that reasonable, because ripping open your organs is possible, but not very reasonable, as it would be _excruciatingly_painful-they cleared their minds as best as they could.

"_Lend your muscle_."

Maka tilted her head at this, but she slowly came to terms with the only thing that came to mind. She looked over at Soul's arm and grabbed it in the hand unoccupied with a sudden motion.

Soul jerked to look at her, then followed suit as suddenly as she had. They stared into each others eyes for a brief confused moment and then turned back to the poster in synchronization.

"_Find your voice_."

Maka and Soul blinked. "Well, I can talk," Soul said.

"Why wouldn't you be able to?" Maka asked him, annoyed.

"I don't know. But it says-" Soul tried.

"Shut up and pay attention to it, or do you want another Maka Chop?" Maka threatened.

"_Give 10 percent_."

Soul lets go of Maka's arm and handed her a dime. "Thanks?" she asked.

"_Give 100 percent_."

Maka handed soul back a dollar.

"_Give 110 percent_."

They handed each other the money they had just gotten. "Somehow I don't think that's what it meant but…" Maka trailed off with the beginning of doubt tracing her voice.

"_Give an hour_."

They squinted at the poster for the words were small this time. "I'm starting to think this is a scam," Soul said.

"Starting?" Maka asked.

"_Give a Saturday_."

The two looked at the poster blankly with annoyance silently taking over. It was Saturday _today._ Didn't they give it to Stein? "Look where that got us," Soul mumbled.

"_Think of___WE_before___ME_."_

"What about _he_?" Soul asked, ticked off. "Does that count? Cause we've been thinking of_he_for two days now." Maka smirked and said "_We_have and now _we'_re not happy. Oui?" she angrily added for Soul. "Oui!" he replied in equal anger.

"_Reach out a hand to one and influence the condition of all__._"

"How?" the two of them cried simultaneously.

"_Give_."

"WE ALREADY DID THAT!" they yelled.

"_Advocate_."

"What does that even _mean_?" Soul asked.

"'To speak or write in favor of,'" Maka recited. "'Support or urge by support; recommend publicly.'"

"Bookworm," Soul mumbled.

"MAKA CHOP!"

And then he was on the floor.

"_Volunteer_."

"Don't we do that every day?" Soul asked from the floor, referring to the assignments. "It's not volunteering," Maka said. "You get souls if we win."

"_Live United_."

"We'd do that if you told us how!" Soul exclaimed.

And then the poster ended.

At the very moment they had finished reading, Dr. Stein walked out through a door. He looked at them and smiled maniacally. "Now," he said as he walked up to the shaking duo, "about strengthening resonance-"

"SCREW STRENGTHENING OUR RESONANCE!" Maka yelled as she stood up. Soul and Stein looked at her in shock "Our resonance is good enough as it is! It's _amazing_! Right, Soul?"

"R-right…" Soul stammered.

"See? It's _perfect!" _Maka grabbed Soul's wrist and pulled him with her out of the room. Dr. Stein stared off at them as he was left to his confusion.


End file.
